Purpose: An important element of relationships among adults in Head Start is the manner in which conflict is handled. This activity uses metaphor to offer different ways to look at the process of negotiating conflict and examines how the adult relationships modeled in each process affect the adult caregivers' ability to work well with the children.
For this activity you will need:
· flip chart and markers
Step 1: Explain to participants that people tend to understand concepts in terms of stories, their own experiences, or in metaphors. One of the most common metaphors in our culture is the metaphor of war. We talk about the "Battle of the Sexes," the "War on Drugs," the "War on Poverty." Metaphors structure the way we view reality and therefore can limit or expand our behavior and how we feel. Let's look at the war metaphor and see how it affects the way we think about and experience conflict.
Step 2: Ask the group to use war as a metaphor and brainstorm some ways people might describe an argument. What are some common expressions? List the suggestions on the flip chart. Some examples might be:
· He attacked
every point in my argument.
· She shot
down all of my suggestions.
· My points
were right on target.
· If you
use that strategy, you'll be wiped out.
· I blew
her out of the water.
Step 3: Now ask the group to think of how we would describe the process of arguing if our metaphor were a dance. Some examples might be:
· We waltzed
around.
· She tripped
over every point I made.
· He couldn't
get the rhythm of my suggestions.
· I can't
find the music to go with her choreography.
· If you
try that step, you'll fall down.
Step 4:Ask the group what feelings they get when they consider the first list. What feelings do they get when they look at the second list?
Step 5: Ask
the group to brainstorm a common situation of conflict among adults within a
Head Start work setting: an angry parent, a difficult health care or social
services provider, a dispute with
a co-worker. Choose
one situation which the majority of the group seems to find realistic.
Step 6: Now have the group consider that situation from the warrior or dancer position. Ask for volunteer "warriors" and "dancers" or assign groups. Give each group approximately ten minutes to develop the situation and to describe it in their metaphor.
Step 7: Ask each group to present the situation from its different perspectives. Discuss the different feelings about the conflict.
· In each
model, what is the power relationship between parties?
· How does
the metaphor affect the style and effectiveness of communication between parties?
· How does
it feel to be an individual on a battlefield?
· How does
it feel to be an individual on a dance floor?
Step 8: Ask participants to stay in their warrior and dancer groups and imagine the following situation:
The adult conflict portrayed above has lust occurred, and now it is time for you to return to the classroom or go out on a home visit. As you resume your work, a fight erupts between two children and adult intervention and guidance are required.
Ask the following questions:
· Considering
your state of mind after the adult conflict, how do you respond to the children?
· Does the
"warrior" group respond differently to the children than the "dancer" group?
· How might
you apply these metaphors to relationships in the next few days?
· Are there
ways to encourage the children to be "dancers" rather than "warriors?"
Points to Consider:
- In looking at the list with the war metaphor, what goals are there?To win, destroy opponent, kill... What about the dance metaphor? To make something beautiful together, to create, to enjoy...
- Conflict is inevitable. It can be troublesome and it can also be a chance for growth and creative problem solving.
- People in tense situations often become harsh and unyielding. If there is a way to defuse the tension-by looking at the situation in a "gentler" way-it opens the possibilities for a solution which is based more in consensus than win-lose.
- You have to have it to sell it. Nurturing children and families is hard when the relationships among adults in the workplace fail to nurture.
- What contributes to a workplace that is a dance floor rather than a battlefield? What can you do to turn a battlefield into a dance floor? What other metaphors help you think about the kind of workplace that promotes mental health?