Introduction
When ______________________________________________________(describe what
happened),
I feel ________________________________________________________(describe
your feeling).
I want _________________________________________(describe what you would
like to happen).
Example of an "I" Message: "When my son tells me other kids are picking on him, I feel worried
about his safety and happiness here. I want to meet with you to discuss ways to keep him safe. Example of a "You" Message (what not to say): You're letting the other kids pick on my son.
Example of a "You" Message Disguised as an "I" Message" (what not to say):
I feel that you're letting the other kids pick on my son.
Responses to "I" Messages: If the other person responds positively
to your statement on what you would like to happen, say, "Thank you." If
the other person resists your "I" Message through blame, attack, or excuses,
try not to let it sidetrack you. Use reflective listening and feedback, and
then give your "I" Message again. You may need to use several rounds
of listening, feedback, and "I" Messages.
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