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Chapter Three
EXPLORING STAFF ATTITUDES 

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"If parents and teachers could meet often enough and intimately enough to develop primary group attitudes toward each other, and if both parents and teachers might have their say unreservedly, such modifications of school practice and parental upbringing might take place as would revolutionize the life of children everywhere."

-Waller, 1932

Successful parent involvement is based on trust between staff and parents and a desire to work together. The attitudes of staff toward parents greatly affect their partnership. Staff attitudes are closely related to the degree of their understanding of the need for parent involvement, their personal feelings toward parents, and the clarity with which their responsibilities and those of parents are delineated.

Acting as a catalyst in developing close working relationships between parents and staff, the coordinator offers staff a clear rationale for parent involvement, and creates a non-threatening atmosphere in which they can examine and work through their feelings toward parents. The coordinator helps staff to define their responsibilities toward parents and children and accept the limitations of their influence.

NEED FOR INVOLVING PARENTS

In many situations, ranging from staff meetings to casual conversations, the parent involvement coordinator will be called upon to explain the reasons for involving parents in the Head Start program. Some reasons may be gleaned from the pages of the policy manual or the speeches of specialists, but the most obvious and forceful ones develop from an intuitive understanding of family relationships and plain common sense.

Following are five reasons, among many, for involving parents.

• Parents have primary responsibility for their child, although they delegate a limited amount of it to the staff; it is the right and responsibility of parents to participate in decisions about their child's care and education.
• Parents' influence on their child is greater and longer-lasting than the staff's; when staff share knowledge, skills, and experience with parents, they ultimately are helping the child.
• A child needs to feel good about his background; he is reassured by the mutual demonstration of respect, appreciation and trust among the most important people in his life- his parents and teachers.
• A child needs to receive messages about her worth and expectations for her behavior which are clear and consistent; conflicts can be minimized if parents and staff clarify, communicate, and understand each other's values.
• Staff can learn from parents what is healthy and effective in family teaching styles, just as parents can learn alternative child-rearing methods; both need opportunities to watch, talk,and work with each other.

EXAMINING FEELINGS

Staff members' feelings about parents color their relationships. Most people are comfortable when they experience positive feelings such as love, affection, admiration and respect. On the other hand, negative feelings such as jealousy, anger, envy, and hatred usually make a person uncomfortable. In general, people seek relationships in which they are comfortable and avoid those in which they are not. If staff members are uncomfortable with parents, their feelings might be in the way.

Acknowledging Feelings
Staff members have a right to both positive and negative feelings about parents. When staff acknowledge their feelings and think about what causes them, they can deal with the feelings in constructive ways. However, when natural feelings are pushed aside or hidden, they can affect the staff's behavior in indirect ways and subtly sabotage parent-staff relationships.

The first step then, in dealing with feelings is to acknowledge them, to admit anger, envy or love. Knowing that all feelings are legitimate and that no one will be criticized for their feelings makes this easier. The parent involvement coordinator can assist staff by acknowledging his or her own feelings  and listening to staff express theirs. The coordinator need not comment, make judgements, or suggest that they should feel differently. All that is necessary is that he or she attempts to understand what they feel.

Detennining What Causes Feelings
Once their feelings are recognized and accepted, the staff can work on figuring out why they feel as they do. What is it that provokes their anger? Why do they get exasperated with a particular parent volunteer? Parent-staff relationships are emotional by their very nature. From two different perspectives in two different situations, these adults care for and wish to help a child. Memories of their own childhood experiences, as well as their backgrounds and education influence how they go about this. Conflicts are inevitable. Following are a few examples of how parent-staff relationships might trigger strong emotions:

• Staff members might identify with the child, want the best for him, and feel angry at his parents for giving him less.
• Staff members might compete with the child's natural parents for influence over him.
• Parents might feel inadequate compared to the staff and angry as a result.
• Staff might fear parents' participation in the classroom as an intrusion into their territory which threatens their power.
• Perhaps staff feel that parents will be critical of them if they become involved in the program.
• Staff might see racial and cultural differences as a threat to their own values and lifestyles.
• Staff may feel guilty because they are materially richer than the parents.

Dealing With Feelings
Acknowledging feelings toward parents and determining what causes them are important steps in improving parent-staff relationships. That is not enough, however. Staff members must face those problem situations which provoke feelings that alienate them from parents. For instance, if teachers find themselves getting angry with parent volunteers who "get in the way" in the classroom, they should consider ways to change this anger-provoking situation. These might range from barring parents from the classroom to improving pre-volunteer training to making volunteer assignments more specific. When all possible ideas have been considered, the staff can decide on a solution which will make them comfortable and contribute to the success of the program.

Often the feelings which alienate staff from parents are caused by administrative or management problems, rather than by parents themselves. Fortunately, these can be remedied, if the staff and administration are willing to try. Sometimes, however, the problem is with a particular staff member or parent. Such cases are more difficult to remedy since ingrained personality traits are not very susceptible to change. It is important, in these instances, to consider the best interests of the total program rather than those of a particular parent or staff member.

CLARIFYING RESPONSIBILITIES

Staff attitudes toward parents are related to how well the responsibilities of each are defined in the Head Start program. Frustration, resentment, and other uncomfortable feelings result when one party shirks his or her responsibility or assumes that of the other. When parents and staff clearly define their own responsibilities and recognize the boundaries which limit them, they can work together more easily.

Parent And Staff Responsibilities
Parents, obviously, have primary responsibility for their child; as the child's legal guardians, they are required to care for and supervise him. They have the right to accept or reject any services offered to their child, their family or themselves. Only in cases of child abuse or neglect can others intervene to assure that a child receives adequate care. (Responsible adults - teachers, health professionals, child program staff, recreation workers - are required by law to report suspected child abuse to the agency primarily responsible in their jurisdiction).

The Head Start staff assume a secondary role in the life and education of the child. They accept the responsibility delegated to them by the child's parents - to care for her, feed her, and teach her for a portion of the day - and are accountable to parents for carrying out those responsibilities.

Taking On Parents' Responsibilities
If staff members take on parents' responsibilities, they injure themselves and the family they wish to help. No staff member can gain a sense of accomplishment from the job if he or she tackles impossible tasks. And trying to do for others what only they can do for themselves is an impossible task. Likewise, parents are demeaned when staff assume their responsibilities. They realize that the staff are, in effect, saying: "You're too poor, too uneducated, too helpless to be an adult, to be a patent, to take responsibility for your actions, to make free choices." Parents also realize that when everything is done for them, they need to do nothing. Rather than supporting parents, this type of assistance diminishes their importance and undercuts their self-confidence. In addition, it prevents staff from respecting parents as adults, as equals, and as partners.

Reaching An Agreement
In order to promote good parent-staff relationships, the parent involvement coordinator can invite parents and staff to discuss and clarify their responsibilities to themselves, to the children, and to each other. Since some responsibilities seem to overlap, it is important to be as specific as possible. During parent meetings, small group workshops or other appropriate gatherings, parents and staff can delineate their responsibilities, big and small. Confusion about times for arriving and leaving, bringing in supplies, attending meetings, or reporting absences can be cleared up by defining who is expected to do what. When parents and staff reach an agreement, they might make a chart listing the responsibilities, of each, publish an agreement in their newsletter, or even draw up informal contracts for parents and staff to sign.

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