A true discussion, as opposed to a one-to-one exchange, occurs when a group of people share experiences, debate ideas and theories, discuss personal memories, and work together on common problems. The conversation should engage many participants, who add to one another's comments, contribute a variety of viewpoints, and serve as resources for each other.
When starting a group discussion, determine the goal of the discussion and make sure it is clear to participants.
Keep the conversation flowing. If participants direct their comments or questions to you, direct them to other group members. Ask, "Do you agree?" or "What's your reaction to that?" to get participants talking to one another, and not simply to you. Other strategies you may find useful are to:
- Look at other people in the group, not just the speaker; this gesture signals that other listeners besides yourself are included in the conversation.
- Wait for others to respond, even when it seems to take a long time.
- Participate in group activities, not always as a leader but as another learner. Keep your own journal and share your own responses and feelings occasionally, being careful not to dominate or make participants feel that your opinions are the only ones that count-or the conversation may freeze.
- Clarify or request clarification. (You can train group members to do this, too.)
- Point out alternatives that the group has not yet considered, or add your own ideas.
- Suggest (or ask a participant to suggest) ways of using the information.
- Point out inconsistencies or contradictions in views expressed that the group may not be aware of. (Do not stop the flow with a niggling point of information; however, use sensitivity and good timing.)
Beware of giving "double messages." Sometimes leaders say one thing but communicate another. For instance, a leader may urge parents to respond directly to each other, but his or her stance and eye movements may in fact be communicating the expectation that parents channel their responses through him or her.
Finally, summarize with the group the points that the discussion raised and add points that participants might have missed. This is yout opportunity to ensure that parents have a thorough grasp of the particular activity. Part of this summary should include a restatement of the purpose of the particular activity.
Small Group Activities
For some activities the session plans suggest that the total group be divided into several smaller groups.
When the group is small enough, everyone gets a chance to speak, to share personal views, and to develop the skill of working with others. Group members can get to know each other better and are more likely to conisider how another person's way of thinking about a question or experience applies to their own approach.
Before beginning the small group activity, be sure that the group understands the purpose of the activity and the amount of time that they have to work.
Form groups either by numbering off and having all people with the same number form one group or by suggesting that people who are near each other turn their chairs and form a group. Make sure that chairs are grouped so that the members of each group can hear one another easily without being distracted by the group next to them.
Assign (or ask the group to appoint) a recorder, who should take quick notes and report back to the larger group on the group's discussion.
Although you should be available to give help, and may want to listen in on each group's discussion for a while, it is often a good idea to give the groups a chance to work on their own- - indicating that you have confidence in their ability to function without you. Sometimes you may want to join a group and actively participate in the activity. This will depend on how well the parents have worked together in the small groups during previous activities and how much help they need from you.
If you are not actively involved in a group, help with transitions. Near the end of the activity, remind participants how much time they have left and what they are supposed to accomplish.
Afterward, recorders should report to the whole group the results of their small group activity. Other members of the group should feel free to add to the recorder's report. Try to encourage discussion and questions. Each group might report one or two of their best ideas.
Brainstorming
Brainstorming is a technique for quickly generating and recording ideas. Brainstomring helps to loosen people's tongues and enables participants to respond creatively, without fear of being judged, It therefore stimulates fresh ideas for consideration, and helps people break loose from fixed ways of responding to situations or problems.
Brainstorming also helps to vary the pace of a session. It involves everyone and is particularly effective as a way of getting discussion started. Brainstorming is frequently appropriate in considering the following:
- why a particular event might have occured
- alternative responses to a particular problem or situation
- ways of carrying out ideas or solutions
- List every idea, no matter how far-out it seems to be. (One person should be responsible for making the list).
- Don't judge whether ideas are good or bad, just call them out.
- There should be no discussion or comments until after the list is complete.
- It is all right to repeat an idea or to add to one already listed.
- Building on other ideas is often helpful and is permitted.
- It is all right to have peroids of silence. Often this means that people are thinking and will have new ideas to offer momentarily.
Once the group has brainstormed an adequate number of ideas, go over the list and begin to focus in on the suggestions. With the group, eliminate those that seem on second thought to be inappropriate, and place similar approaches into categories. Choose suggestions that the group feels are most important.
You might then pursue the best suggestions by discussion or role playing. For example, if the group has brainstormed ways of helping children to feel accepted, you might have the group form pairs, role play each idea from the list, and weigh their relative effectiveness.
If the activity is done in small groups, each group should report their list so that all participants have an opportunity to record those ideas they would like to remember for the future.
Role Playing
Role playing is a method of acting out an imaginary situation as if it were really happening at that moment. The situation is described to the role player, who then fills the role according to how he or she thinks it would feel to be in that situation (e.g. a child entering a new home). Real experience with a similar situation is not necessary. The point is to:
- put yourself in another person's place so that you can try to understand the thoughts and feelings that the situation brings out in that person;
- let you try out new ways of behaving to see if they bring the results you intend, or to see how the behaviors actually feel;
- help you learn how others react to your attitudes and behaviors in a practice situation; and
- allow you to try out new ways of behaving, without fear of failure.
Cut when enough has happened to discuss, or when the role takers don't seem to be producing any new in formation--usually three to five minutes.
After the role play, have observers report on what they saw and felt. Then ask the role players how they felt. As a group, discuss:
- What happened?
- Why did it turn out the way it did?
- Do you like the way it turned out?
- Who would have to do what to make it turn out differently?
- You, as leader, and anyone who is assisting you in the program (or a volunteer from the group) could do the first role play, asking the rest of the group to be observers.
- Then everyone in the room can.pair off into role-playing partners with no observers, so that people will not feel self-conscious as they try on roles for the first time. Then reassemble to discuss what happened.
- Finally, divide into role-playing groups with role players and observers as described above.
The films and records which accompany the sessions present real people responding to real life situations. By experiencing a small portion-of these individuals' lives, group participants gain insights into different lifestyles and various child-rearing techniques. There are no "models" and no outstanding situations presented in the films or on the records. This should be stressed when introducing them. The primary purpose of the audio-visual materials is to stimulate discussion and present a variety of ideas and situations to participants in order to help them analyze different behaviors.
When using a film, preview the film thoroughly and familiarize yourself with the transcript. While the film is being shown, you can observe the participants' reactions for clues about their concerns and responses.
It is often helpful to give a brief summary ahead of time of who is in the film and what is covered.
Ask participants to jot down their feelings about the film either during or immediately after viewing. Encourage them to discuss some of these feelings if they feel comfortable about doing so. Use of small groups or partners for this exercise is often more appropriate than whole-group discussion.
The following steps may be helpful in leading a discussion of the film:
1. Get the facts straight. Ask participants to relate what they actually saw in the film.
2. Analyze feelings and motivations. Once the facts have been established, participants can begin to analyze what they have seen. Since it is not possible to know whether participant's feelings accurately reflect the motivations and feelings of the people filmed, the more facts participants can use to support their analysis, the better.
3. Relate the film to personal ideas and values. After examining the facts and analyzing behavior, encourage participants to relate their feelings about the film to their own ideas about childrearing and the needs of families. Ask them to try to imagine themselves in the situation of someone in the film. What factors in their own experience would influence how they would behave? Can they see the situation from the filmed person's point of view?
Participants often react negatively to the family films at first, saying
that the people in the film are "too perfect" or "too nice". Remind parents
that the families in the films knew that they were going to be filmed.
Ask participants what they would do if they knew someone was coming to
their home to make a movie of them? Would they comb their hair that
morning? Would they straighten the house or apartment up? Would they be
careful about how they spoke and what they said? What do all of these things
tell others about the person's values and what is important to him?
Follow basically the techniques for film viewing when using a record. The session plans also provide step-by-step directions for viewing and discussing films and records.
USING A RESOURCE PERSON
Exploring Parenting looks at many aspects of childrearing which may be sensitive areas to some participants. When discussing stress, child abuse or accident prevention, the group leaders may feel the need for additional support from outside resources (e.g. the social services specialist or a community mental health expert). Before deciding to use a resource person, group leaders should discuss with each other their own feelings about the topic, their assessment of their strengths and weaknesses in presenting the session, and how they could best use the services of a resource person.
Some parent groups may resent having "outsiders" join their sessions and may not talk as freely with the resource person present. In this situation, where the resource person is not going to attend the session, group leaders should meet with the resource person prior to the session to identify possible problems that may arise and to consider suggestions for guiding the group through such problems. Once the session is over, group leaders may want to have a follow-up meeting with the resource person to discuss how the session went, actual problems that surfaced during the session and any participants who may need additional support in handling their particular situations.
If the parent group agrees to having the resource person as an active participant in the group, then the group leaders should plan the session with the resource person, making the necessary adjustments in the session plans. The resource person can take an active role in guiding the group during the session, discuss community support services available to parents, and identify first-hand those participants who may want to seek additional supports.
However outside resources are used, it is important for group leaders to know what community resources are available to them, to contact these resources and inform them of the Exploring Parenting group, to draw on these resources when necessary, and to make parents aware of the availability and location of various community resources.
BRINGING THE PROGRAM TO AN END
One of the major contributors to the success of the Exploring Parenting experience is the feeling of mutual respect, trust and support which develops within the group. As the program progresses, the individual members tend to become very dependent on the group support, and are reluctant to break away from the group when the program ends.
Therefore, it is important that the group leaders help the parents to prepare gradually for the end of Exploring Parenting. There is a portion of the final session devoted to a discussion of bringing the program to an end, but group leaders may want to introduce the idea of "coming to a close" earlier - maybe during Session 18. Leaders may remind parents that the program is nearing an end and encourage them to think about what they have gained from and how they have grown by participating in the experience.
Sara Has Down's Syndrome
Transcript (Running Time: 16 minutes)
Mother: Sara is my youngest child, the youngest of five. She's six and she's retarded. She just doesn't sit as you might think a retarded child would, just doing nothing. She has so much energy. She keeps going and going and going.
Want to make a sandwich? Hey, Sara, do you want to make a sandwich?
Sara: Two.
Mother: Do you want to cut it? Okay.
Sara: Um.
Mother: Okay. Over to the table.
When Sara does things it's just her own speed. You just wait. You can't force things to happen. Whatever pace she's set is the pace it's going to happen at, whether it's making a peanut butter sandwich or climbing up in the high chair. Whatever she's going to do. It's her own pace and you just have to wait. Sometimes if you just look at her and you enjoy her for the moment, at whatever she's doing, and not try to rush things, you appreciate it a little bit more.
Want juice or milk, Sara? Sara? Do you want juice or milk? Juice? Say juice.
Sara: Duice.
Mother: Okay. No, Sara, no. No. Hey, Sara, no. Hey, no.
Some of the things that Sara does are negative. But you can't let those
negative things defeat you. She keeps trying to do many things and you
keep saying no, no, no.
But in the process she will learn and she is learning. And you just
keep your sense of humor. They're the best fed dogs in the country.
Good girl. Good girl. Don't share them. Don't share with them, no. Sara, eat. More juice? Juice? Hey, Sara, Sara, want more juice? Hmmm? Oh, the table is not that dirty. No, no. Go get a sponge and clean it up then. No, no, no.
Sara's older sister Tabby sometimes is impatient with Sara. She thinks perhaps there should be a little bit more discipline.
Tabby: When she was first born I reacted, I think, the worst of anyone. As far as I am concerned she should be punished when she does something wrong. She's seven years old and there is no reason, retarded or not, there is no reason why she should get away with throwing a glass of milk across the room. Because she knows it's wrong.
Mother: Thank you. See that, get Cully's helmet. No, no, no, no.
We're working on speech both at home and they are also working on speech at school. Both the teacher and the high school student who goes down to the school from the high school.
Teacher: Up, down, up, down.
Mother: I think the school's now decided that in order for Sara to learn
speech, she's going
to have to say things, particularly in the line of food, before she
gets them. And she will respond to food, always.
Teacher: Can you say soup? See if she'll say soup for you.
Sara: Sooop.
Teacher: Very good. Can you say grapes? Grapes. Sara, grapes.
Mother: The high school girl will repeat words and Sara will repeat them after her. Now words are coming out.
Teacher: Grapes. Put it in. Can you say grapes? That's it.
Grapes, Sara. Grapes. Grapes.
Sara: Gapes.
Teacher: That's it. Can you say apple? Apple.
Sara: Apple.
Teacher: That's it. Good.
Mother: Sara went through the beginning stages of speech, the babbling stage, and I thought she was all ready to start talking. But suddenly, she stopped. And I guess this is the way retarded kids go through stages. They begin something and for no reason there's a blank.
Teacher: No, you do, you can do it. Go ahead, put it in right. Go ahead,
you can do it.
Go ahead, almost. There you go. Yeah. Good girl.
Mother: Sometimes people ask me how old is Sara? How retarded is she?
I answer, "It all depends on what you are talking about." Sara can do many
things. She can take out a vacuum cleaner if I'm vacuum cleaning, and plug
it in and vacuum the room along with me. All of her own volition. She
can make a peanut butter sandwich. She does put her toys away. Now
that's an age that's hard to hit. A lot of these things she's learned at
home. A lot of these things she's learned at nursery
school.
So it all depends on what you're thinking about, whether she's a three or a five. But we don't push it. Whatever she does, hopefully the next day she'll do a little bit better in whatever area it is.
Martha and Emmy are Sara's next two older sisters. And they really enjoy Sara, either working with her speech or just playing with blocks. They appreciate each little step that she makes. I think there is a real communication between them.
Sister: Don't throw the train down the stairs, Sara.
Brother: Hit her over the head with it.
Sister: Shut up. Sara, stop it. Don't throw it down the stairs. Stop it.
Father: Just the word "no" is not enough. You have to almost seem emotional when you say the no. Because if she can't see that you are upset, then she won't believe you anyhow.
Here, Sara, put your glass on the table. Put it on the table. That's a good girl.
Mother: Sara's brother Collee enjoys working with Sara, particularly in speech.
Collee: Can you say carrot. Say carrot.
Sara: Cassot.
Collee: That' a girl, there you go. Big girl, Sara.
When my mother first had her I was sort of embarassed to bring her down to the beach, but that gradually went away. Then all the kids found out, you know. Most of my friends have seen her and so I'm not embarassed about her anymore.
Sister: You know what Sara tried to do the other day was cut with scissors.
Collee: Thank you.
Father: She was doing quite well with it.
Collee: Sara, want some cheese? Some cheese.
Sister: Don't put a lot on, Collee, it tastes awful.
Sara: Cheese.
Collee: Great girl, Sara. There you go.
Sister: It tastes awful when there's a lot.
Collee: It's good when it's a lot.
Sister: I had some meatballs and I put a little too much.
Sister: Want some salad?
Father: A little red from spaghetti. Still red from spaghetti. Here, put it in the water. Go on, put them on. Get your toes stretched out there a little bit. That's a good girl. Okay, pull them up. Pull them up. Pull them up. Come on, pull them up. Come on, pull them up.
Sara: Vrum. Vrum.
Father: Pull them up. Come on, stand up. Okay, pull them up.
You can't be disappointed if she can't catch on right away. But she seems to catch on sooner or later, if you keep at it. And I think that's probably the most important thing, keeping at it.
No, no. You've got the wrong part, young lady. Hey, get a hold of this.
Come on, get a
hold of it. Come on, get a hold of that. Get a hold of this, up here.
Pull it. Pull it. All right, come on. Here you go, put your arm in. Now
get your other arm in. Okay, come here. Here, Sara. Come on, get the zipper.
Get a hold of it. Get a hold of it. --pull it. Pull it up further, go ahead.
Pull it up a little bit further, go ahead. That's a big girl.
Mother: I think Sara has brought my husband and I closer together. We realize the problems of all children, Sara being different from the other children. But the other children are also different from Sara. And I think the whole family is closer together by a special problem of Sara.
Father: Put your head on the pillow. Come on. Your head, your head, put your head on the pillow. Okay, nitey nite.
LITTLE BLOCKS
Transcript (Running Time: 8 minutes)
In Class
Bobby: I've had about three or four children that haven't taken a liking to me yet, maybe because they're not accustomed or used to me. But I've had one--I played with him for a while. We seemed to be doing pretty good until after he just changed his mind. I think he must have been thinking about something that he remembers. But we just were playing with blocks, and all of a sudden he quit playing with me. We played trains for a while. And all of a sudden as if there was a curtain.
At the Site
Bobby: You do all the little blocks. Here's some more blocks. What are you going to build?
Child: A house.
Bobby: Okay. Let's build a house. Let me show you how to build a house. You put this one right here. Put that one right here. Put that other one right here. Now put that other one over here on this side. Right there. And this one over here. Oh, oh, get that one.
Little girl: Toys up.
Bobby: You're not going to let me finish my house?
Little girl: Make it over there.
Bobby: Okay.
Bobby: Go over there! Where over there?
Little girl: To the next room.
Bobby: Come here. Let's build a house. What do you want to build? Castle, huh?
Child: I don't want to play nothing.
Bobby: You don't want to play nothing. Why not?
Child: I want to go with the teacher.
Bobby: You don't want to play with me?
We were playing over there with the blocks and making a house. Do you want to play with the train with me? I'm your friend.
Why do you want to go with the teacher? I could play with you.
Teacher: Do you want to play with me?
Bobby: Come on, we can play with the castle. Why not?
Teacher: Talk louder, I really can't hear you.
Child: I don't want to.
Teacher: You don't want to.
Wouldn't you like to make a big house and then knock it down? Wouldn't that be fun? I bet you'd have fun.
Bobby: You haven't tried it yet. Try it, you'll like it.
Teacher: Is there anything you want to do? You're going to step on your lip. You're going to step on it.
Bobby: Oh, don't cry.
Come on, let's go play with the train. You don't want to play with the train? You don't want to play with me?
Teacher: He doesn't want to play.
Do you want to sit down and rest a while? Maybe you're tired.
Back in Class
Bobby: I played with him for a little while but, like I say, he just turned me away. And as I say, he must have been thinking of something.
Student: Do you feel upset when he does that?
Bobby: It makes me feel, like, neglected. He don't want to play with me.
Another Student: Do you feel like you've failed at being a teacher when
somebody tells you
something like that?
Bobby: No. I say the only way you learn something is by your mistakes. I've had three people I've worked with. And out of the three people, I haven't had any success in it. I've had two little girls and Rodney.
Student: Are you thinking about giving it all up?
Student: No. like they say, practice makes perfect.
Racing Cars (7 minutes, color)
Narrator: Enroue is five and likes to draw racing cars. He has drawn cars on many occasions, but less often with paints. When he painted this one, he seemed to run into a problem.
Enroue begins by making the front of the car, extends it backward making the fender, but he bumps into the edge of the paper. He appears to, change his plan--what was the front wheel becomes the rear wheel.
He told us later that the yellow extension in front of the car is the motor.
Before Enroue began, he said he was going to make a number five car.
Enroue wrestled with materials to get them to do what he wants.
When the teacher adds more paper, giving him more room, the car he originally conceived seems to speedily unfold.
Clay Play (8 minutes, color)
Narrator: Lissa and Leah are both five-and-a-half and are friends. In this short experience, each reveals something of her own style of responding to her work, another person, and these materials.
Lissa: And go back up.
Leah: I've never seen one grow.
Lissa: I have.
Leah: I haven't. I'm making Lucy on Charlie Brown.
Lissa: You know Lucy has a dress, with curly sleeves.
Leah: Hey, why aren't you using this?
Lissa: What?
Leah: You made this.
Lissa: Made what? I didn't. I don't know who did.
Leah: Oh well. That's great.
Lissa: Once I saw Lucy wearing a strap. You know one of those straps. Those canvas straps.
Leah: It keeps falling down. This is going to be Lucy. Lucy's body. Is that a house?
Lissa: It's not nothing.
Leah: It is nothing. It looks like that to me, because you won't tell me what it is. And this leg is out funny because these are shoes. And don't laugh at them. Because it is important and I will laugh at yours, if you laugh at mine. Because it is not funny laughing at people's stuff.
Lissa: Why not?
Leah: I don't like the way she looks. I don't know how to make her hair.
Lissa: You should make long ribbon and put it around her head.
Leah: That's not how you make Lucy's hair. Her hair is curly.
Lissa: I can make Lucy's hair.
Leah: What does it look like? Make it. Do you make it like this? Like this? That's how I make it.
Lissa: Why don't you make it?
Leah: That's not how you make it. That's not right. I know how it looks, though. It looks like this.
Lissa: I don't make it like that.
Leah: That's how it goes.
Lissa: I know, but I make it the way it looks.
Leah: I'm not going to make it. Lissa, why do you keep making that beautifuler and beautifuler? I'm making something different.
Lissa: It might be different. You think it will be different. How do you know it will be different?
Leah: I don't. It's all set. I think it will be different.
Lissa: I don't think it is.
Leah: It worked a little bit. But I want it.
Lissa: You make it different. At least don't use the other be cause
I need them.
Leah: I'm not going to use the two. This is a home for the snail.