So, how can a Head Start director raise the conflict resolution IQ of his or her program?
INSPIRE WITH INSIGHTS, REMINDERS, MAXIMS: Post phrases, quotations, cartoons, and pictures as reminders of good conflict resolution habits on bulletin boards and walls wherever staff congregate; distribute relevant articles found in newspapers and magazines; make buttons for staff to wear ("Apprentice Problem Solver"); insert an insightful quote regularly in paycheck envelopes.
ENCOURAGE "Skill of the Month" Activity: Since new behavior is reinforced when everyone focuses on it at the same time, staff can select one specific conflict resolution skill to work on each month, such as paraphrasing, calming down, brainstorming, naming one's feelings, responding to anger or frustration.
ENCOURAGE REFLECTION: Encourage individuals to reflect on their personal behavior (such as those personal behaviors listed above) in private journals. Use this activity as a positive focus when discussing team relationships.
OPEN UP DISCUSSIONS: Supply staff with a video on personal management, and facilitate a follow-up discussion on conflict resolution topics, such as conflict de-escalation techniques family origins of conflict styles, community mediation resources.
MODEL PROPER BEHAVIOR: Be a good model of any attitude or skill you support before suggesting it to others. Nothing is more persuasive to staff than your own commitment to, and personal observance of, raising your conflict resolution IQ.
START SMART: "People don't resist change," it is said, " .... they resist being changed." Allow for different levels of readiness and acceptance of this shift in thinking. Set the stage for resolving conflict in every possible way but allow everyone to find her own way in her own time. A small group of staff can pursue the subject in more depth as long as their goals remain connected with the goals of the entire staff.
INFLUENCE THE ORGANIZATION: Finally, consider how you could exert your own influence on resolving conflicts at organizational levels as follows:
TRY THESE...- Build in rewards and punishments: What type of disputing behavior gets rewarded by your program? Are those who sweep problems under the rug until they spill over into everyone's work ever helped to see the effects of their "avoidance?" Do those who "name" a problem get treated as if they created the problem instead of appreciated for their courage in bringing it to the surface?
-Look at who you hire:Does the program hire problem solvers? How well do job candidates understand the nature of conflict and can they demonstrate experience working cooperatively with others to solve problems? Could your job descriptions be written to emphasize a desire for such abilities as listening, flexibility, priority setting, and handling emotions, along with other related skills?
-Plan "outbreaks": Are you prepared to handle simmering staff tensions that could erupt? What support can you count on? How can you prevent future eruptions? Since we learn best experientially, a crisis can be an unparalleled learning opportunity when it is handled constructively.
Techniques for equalizing participation in discussion:- Excerpted from Resource Manual for a Living Revolution, Coover, et al., Philadelphia: New Society PUblishers, 1977.
- Conch Shell Discussion (Makes people conscious of when they interrupt others)>> Members of the group may speak only when they hold the conch shell (or almost any object that is distinctive and won't be lost or forgotten). Speaker passes shell to the next person who wants to speak. A group may want to exempt a facilitator from this rule.
- Match stick Discussion (Places limits on overeager speakers and encourages shy people to contribute)>> Each participant has an equal number of matchsticks (paper clips, slips of paper). Each time someone speaks s/he throws a matchstick into the center of the group. When one's matchsticks have been used, or a new process has been agreed upon. People may not give their matches to other members.