How to Make a Bad Situation Worse!
To make a bad situation worse you must ESCALATE the conflict. To do this:
- Personalize it! Take it personally. Tell yourself "It's because I am a woman that this happened." Blame the other person and be negative: "He did that because he is so stupid."
- Expand, expand, expand! Exaggerate from a specific word or action to several larger, more general issues. Include incidents that happened general issues. Include incidents that happened long ago, and tack on everything that has happened since.
- Form armies! Tell others how you have been mistreated. Tell them your exaggerated story and get them to side with you.
How to Make a Bad Situation Better!
To make a bad situation better you must DE-ESCALATE the conflict. To do this:
- Focus on the problem, not on yourself, the other person, or on their personal attributes. Ask questions to gather more facts. Get clarification on anything you don't understand.
- Address the current incident only. Deal with your feelings and theirs. Listen to what they have to say. remind yourself (and the others) of shared goals. Focus on the future.
- Confine your discussion of the problem to the person(s) involved. If you need to ventilate or problem solve, talk to someone who can listen and help you to solve your own problems- someone you trust to keep your conversation confidential.
-by JoAn Knight Herren