"No parent should try to raise children in a stress-free world or to shield them from, the realities of life. Instead, your goal should be to give your children inner skills and strengths, so they can handle the challenges ahead. We know that our children will trip and fall at times, but we want to teach them how to pick themselves up, how to turn problems into opportunities, and stumbling blocks into stepping stones."(4)
Stress is a normal part of our lives. It is our response to the many demands placed on us every day. These demands, called stressors, may range from the challenge of a job to the physical exertion of chopping wood.
Our responses are determined by how we perceive the stressor, our temperaments, and our self-concepts. As a result, each of us is stressed by different things to which we respond in unique ways. Responses can be physical, emotional, or intellectual and have positive or negative results. One person under stress on the job does his best work and feels in the peak of health. Another may be overwhelmed and develop headaches.
We can learn to recognize our particular stressors and be prepared to cope when these demands arise. If we are able to meet these situations with confidence and ability, our experiences may well be positive. Stress is cumulative. Repeated stressful experiences may cause our physical and mental health to suffer.
Young children have many stressors in their lives. They are often presented with a world in which. both parents must work, single parenting is common, economic security is tenuous, television violence is pervasive, and accessibility to an extended family is no longer the norm. Coupled with the stresses of normal development these situations challenge the young child's coping skills.
Young children are stressed by the normal developmental milestones of growing physically, emotionally, socially, and intellectually. Achieving autonomy, separation, independence, and social skills are all stressful for the preschool child. When adults are understanding and supportive, children usually experience these milestones as positive challenges and, as a result, develop confidence and ability.
A variety of internal factors can also stress young children. Certain temperamental characteristics make everyday events more stressful for some. For example, it's important to recognize that the child who is sensitive to sound, touch, or sight may have a difficult time in large groups. In addition, handicaps, illness, fears, developmental delay, and even giftedness can create stress in the young child.
Many external factors stress children, as well.
Some of these occur within families and may include poverty, separation
and divorce, the birth of a sibling, abuse, lack of positive relationships,
inappropriate expectations, and, death. Others are present in society at
large. Through the media, children become aware of the threat of nuclear
war, witness violence and substance abuse, and are enticed by material
possessions and life styles beyond their reach.
Our challenge as caring adults is to recognize
when children are stressed beyond their abilities to cope in healthy ways,
and then to provide support.
Understanding normal development allows us to more accurately read the clues as to whether or not a child is under stress. Behavior appropriate at one age may be a sign of stress when the child is older.
We also need to be aware of each child's unique
temperamental characteristics. Significant or abrupt changes in a pattern
of behavior are often the indication of stress. Take note of a very
active child who suddenly becomes withdrawn, or a typically healthy child
who begins to complain of aches and pains.
The ways you interpret and respond to a child in stress will profoundly influence the development of his coping skills. Supportive adults address the mental health of children in at least four important ways - observing, communicating, facilitating, and modeling.
Through observation you become aware that some children need support. There is evidence in a child's face, posture, voice, or behavior. It is important to share your observations with co-workers and parents. They may be able to provide important information on which, to build an understanding.
Communication opens the door. Provide time and privacy for sensitive discussions. Listen attentively as you help the child identify his feelings. Show your concern by stating, "I have been worrying Plan opportunities for expression through art, play, and movement.
As a facilitator, provide a variety of experiences for: self-awareness, play, self-help, laughter, positive interaction, decision making, problem solving, creativity, and success. Stressed or not, children are constantly building strengths and skills to handle challenge.
Occasionally, a child you care for may seem to be clearly outside the boundaries of normal behavior. He may be severely stressed, suffering abuse, a painful separation, or an unsuspected physical illness. Or the child may be emotionally disturbed. In such cases your role changes. If the child has not adjusted to a program within two months, it is time to bring in other professionals in a helping capacity. It is very difficult to know when to refer. The following outline may guide you in this process:
1 . Conduct a careful observation for one to two
weeks.
a. Look for patterns of behavior and record your
observations.
b. Observe on different days of the week and
at different times of day.
c. Have several staff members take observation
notes.
2. Discuss your concerns at a staff meeting.
a. Share your observations, being specific about
the behavior in question.
b. Determine whether the problem occurs in relation
to one or more staff.
c. Be prepared to redefine the problem as you
get more information.
3. Involve the child's parents in the process.
a. Share your observations and concerns with
the parents.
b. Solicit new information from the parents,
discovering their perspective.
c. Be prepared to redefine the problem as you
get more information.
4. Seek outside assistance as needed.
a. Refer to a physician for a medical or pediatric
evaluation.
b. Consult a child development specialist.
c. Consult a child mental health specialist.
d. Get recommendations that will help you set
up a plan of action.
5. Set a date within six weeks to review progress
with those involved and then continue to meet at regular intervals.
(4 )Kersey, Katherine. Helping
Your-Child Handle Stress Washington, D.C.: Acropolis Books, Ltd., 1986.
p. 7.